Recently a big project at work came to a closing. It was the most hay I had ever had on my fork in my entire life. Since then I have been feeling a little like a ship aimlessly adrift. It's not that I didn't have a lot on my plate before this big project started, I did. I still do. I just miss the thrill of chasing a deadline. I never anticipated this about myself.
It does sound a little crazy, doesn't it? However, there is a part of me (Enneagram type 1) who thrives on making lists, ticking boxes and getting sh#t done. I like having a full plate and completing a task successfully makes me feel accomplished. I love (no jokes) efficient time management and I get a serious kick out of operating at a high intensity.
Now that my plate is just moderately full again I find myself procrastinating, because it suddenly feels like I have so much extra time. In reality I just have to adjust my perspective and time management again instead of leaving it all to the last minute just for the thrill of the pressure.
I have to remind myself that I need rest and it's okay to take it. This was never a problem before. I seem to have lost some balance and I was reminded of a quote I saw a while ago.
"The worker has fallen in love with a system that exploits them". But who doesn't want to feel valued or appreciated?
My attitude towards my work has become one of "I want to do it while I can (physically able) and while I have the opportunity". I'm buzzing with ideas and tapping into that energy and pouring myself into my job right now feels good. It's exciting getting to know myself as a professional person, testing and discovering my abilities, building my career.
Will the scales tip again? Will I again return to days prior where I had a healthy balance between work and rest? I will. Just not now.
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