A change in the dynamics of a close working relationship changed recently and I was not as "fine" as I anticipated I would be. I am rolling with the punches ... But I cannot deny that it knocked the breath out of my lungs and I'm struggling to find my breath.
What used to be my security and surity was replaced, through a change of season, by new unfamiliar territory. It's not bad, it's just different. I'm the one who needs to adjust. And I'm feeling it. Being able to function effectively under pressure is compromised when your true north is not your true north anymore.
I find myself navigating a choppy sea on my own. While I do have shipmates, I'm missing a co-captain.
I'm pretty sure this type of writing requires me to provide some wise anecdote for the situation described above, but alas. I am simply writing as a means to deal with emotions I would otherwise bury deep down where they would fester and then pop up at a most inconvenient time. Usually when a large amount of alcohol is involved. Not ideal or flattering, to say the least.
So, how do I end this? The same way my close working relationship ended. Unceremoniously, with the understated thank you and enough nostalgia to last a lifetime.
It was good and I am thankful. It's also now over. "On to new things" I say bravely with a quiver in my voice.
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