The only way out, is through. Yes, another saying I have loved since forever. Every now and again when I find myself in a valley, I use it to motivate myself to keep going, because experience has taught me that a valley most likely will lead me to a mountain top.
I have recently become more aware of the "how" though. I still believe the only way out is through, but I am so much more mindful of how I go through something to come out the other side, not simply a survivor, but rather an evolved version of myself, who is able to move forward in a way that enables me to make the most of whatever is ahead next.
I don't simply want to make it to the mountain top. I don't want to be doubled over, out of breath, barely alive. I want to stand there, arms stretched open and take a deep, satisfying inhale. I want to look far out and appreciate the view. I want to bend down and see the beauty in the small flowers growing at my feet. I want to be fully present.
To bury away your feelings as a coping mechanism when bad things happen, prolongs the trauma. It leaves you numb, with an inability to experience your own emotions or share in the joy or pain of others. While I sometimes long for that unhealthy numbness when I feel overwhelmed, I know it's not the best way to cope if I want to enjoy the view on the mountain top later. Having bad things happen and actively choosing to acknowledge your feelings is a coping strategy. I think it is better to strategise your way through trauma than falling back on an unhealthy habit you acquired because you might have been too immature or inexperienced to deal any better. Maybe you were a child or just a rookie? As an adult or an enlightened person, to be aware of things around you, enables you to analyse, devise, strategise and actively make healthier decisions. To look at or feel the grief or tragedy as it plays itself out in your life cultivates awareness. To monitor your own emotions and reactions bring mindfulness. To gauge your process of heartache or disappointment helps you to map it out and hopefully in the future, having gone through something bad or unlucky or painful previously, you can use the healthy experience gained to navigate your way through and out another valley. Off course we are never fully prepared for a huge loss or heartache or disappointment or depression. Even when we can anticipate it and have a notion of how things are going to end, it often overwhelms us. And truly, it sucks and hurts and brings you down and makes you question yourself and leaves you longing for copious amounts of alcohol or chocolate and maybe even the afterlife. But we have to be brave enough to stand the same way in the valley, as we do on the mountain top. Arms stretched open, breathing deeply, looking out, aware of everything around you, fully present. Stand your ground in the valley. Don't shrink away. It's difficult, but it's worth it. You owe yourself the beautiful view on the mountain top.
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